Auction Chronicles » auctions of questionable origin

Is this sexy to you?

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:47:12 +0000

So, seller walt**maxi’s mom put a plastic cup in the washer and dryer in the 1970s, and it so resembled a tushie that they’ve kept it in the china cabinet for over 30 years. At long last, the day has come for the family to say its goodbyes to the “sexy butt cup,” for a minimum bid of $495.

Perhaps because dogs are known to enjoy a good derriere, 10 percent of the auction proceeds will go to the Humane Society of Louisiana.

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Now playing: Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back
via FoxyTunes

$10,000 hallucinations

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:15:40 +0000

It’s a well-established fact that Ohio has more alien abduction stories and Bigfoot sightings than the average state. If you happen to live here, this description of a mounted fish, its arguments with an electronic singing sea bass and its owner’s alien-forced pickle-eating contests (replete with gratuitous John Wayne quotes) should make perfect sense to you.*

The minimum bid is $10,000.

Visit the haunted fish auction.

*I do and it doesn’t.

It don’t matter if you’re French or Rye: MJ Toast

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:06:37 +0000

I guess this was inevitable. In the culture of eBay, few things feel our grief, our longing or our faithful yearnings the way that our toasters do.

Welcome to the newest rash of oddball Michael Jackson-related auctions: portraits of the King of Pop on burned bread.

Pictured here is, obviously, a toast-ly apparition of the “Thriller” cover.

This MJ on toast must be intentional.

He’s moonwalking on this one. It’s rough, but yes, I can see it.

I can’t figure this one out at all.

Chances are good that there are more of these listings being created daily.

If you’re looking for MJ-related auctions, Ebay has created its own Michael Jackson tribute page.
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Now playing: Michael Jackson – Black or White
via FoxyTunes

Jesus Christ, Superstar autograph

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 13:54:02 +0000

For a mere $1 million, some extremely gullible person can purchase a “Bible signed by Jesus Christ” that’s been carbon dated by the elusive “institute [sic] of History, Ohio, USA,” tested by experts from the “Bibliotheque National” and given the thumbs up for authenticity by the mysteriously unGoogle-able but allegedly reliable “Theologian Jessica Wycliffe.” The picture of the Bible itself has “HOLY BIBLE” stamped on the cover, even though Mel Gibson tried to make sure that you know better.

Have a look

Oh Mad Max, what fools these mortals be!

What cherry tree?

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:47:25 +0000

So, thronecommerical2008′s parents were ostensibly visiting Mt. Vernon, the historic home of our first president, when they came across a small, carved stone. According to the auctioner, it looks like “a fresh rose without the stem and thorns on the half side and a map on the other half,” and his/her parents apparently had no compunction about lifting this item from the grounds of one of our country’s forefathers. For some mysterious reason, this person thinks that this object has brought them luck in love and intends to pass that on, at a hefty cost. He/she is trying to fetch at least $50,000 for the item – that’s $10,000 for each finger of the discount.

One questioner put it this way:

Q: You probably should give that back to who you took it from. Jan-01-09
A: I did not find it inside the mansion. i found it on the pathway with the pebbles.

The title and description of the auction make a completely different claim.
Sounds like this family chops down lots of cherry trees.

Visit the Stone Rose found in George Washington’s mansion auction.