Archive for the ‘audacious auctions’ category

Jesus Christ, Superstar autograph

June 14th, 2009

For a mere $1 million, some extremely gullible person can purchase a “Bible signed by Jesus Christ” that’s been carbon dated by the elusive “institute [sic] of History, Ohio, USA,” tested by experts from the “Bibliotheque National” and given the thumbs up for authenticity by the mysteriously unGoogle-able but allegedly reliable “Theologian Jessica Wycliffe.” The picture of the Bible itself has “HOLY BIBLE” stamped on the cover, even though Mel Gibson tried to make sure that you know better.

Have a look

Oh Mad Max, what fools these mortals be!

What cherry tree?

January 9th, 2009

So, thronecommerical2008′s parents were ostensibly visiting Mt. Vernon, the historic home of our first president, when they came across a small, carved stone. According to the auctioner, it looks like “a fresh rose without the stem and thorns on the half side and a map on the other half,” and his/her parents apparently had no compunction about lifting this item from the grounds of one of our country’s forefathers. For some mysterious reason, this person thinks that this object has brought them luck in love and intends to pass that on, at a hefty cost. He/she is trying to fetch at least $50,000 for the item – that’s $10,000 for each finger of the discount.

One questioner put it this way:

Q: You probably should give that back to who you took it from. Jan-01-09
A: I did not find it inside the mansion. i found it on the pathway with the pebbles. :)

The title and description of the auction make a completely different claim.
Sounds like this family chops down lots of cherry trees.

Visit the Stone Rose found in George Washington’s mansion auction.

Have yourself a creepy little Christmas

December 9th, 2008

‘Tis the season for some of the most evil movie props of all time to go up for auction.

Child star Harvey Stephens, who played little evil Damien Thorn in the original 1976 version of “The Omen,” has held onto the prop tricycle he rode into his on-screen mother (Lee Remick), causing her to fall over  a second-story banister. Four years ago, Stephens said he wouldn’t part with the piece of scary cinema history because he wanted to give it to his baby daughter,  but he began making public appearances with it earlier this year. The live auction will start with a $30,000 bid.

Hollywood dentist Henry R. Dwork wants to cash in on his little piece of film history – specifically, the molds he made for Linda Blair’s tongue extension and teeth, used in “The Exorcist.” If you were wondering, Dwork says he has also “assisted many of Hollywood’s biggest stars with all their necessary cosmetic dentistry, including: Robert DeNiro (for The Deer Hunter and The Untouchables), Sean Penn, Dustin Hoffman (for Marathon Man), John Belushi, Marlon Brando and Al Pacino (for the Godfather) and many more.” The doc is looking for $2,500 or best offer.

A seller by the name of “ectoplasm” has a number of props from the Hellraiser movies for sale, including one of the puzzle boxes used in the film, which apparently has some “secret” about it that will help the buyer verify that it’s legit. It also includes oversized corneal black contact lenses worn by “Pinhead” actor Doug Bradley, a resin bust of the creepy character, a hand-painted maquette of the “Pillar of Souls,” and a piece of prosthetic makeup that Bradley donned somewhere in between all of those shiny nails. With three days to go, the bidding currently stands at just under $1,400.

On the lighter side of soul suckage and cinematic carnage, the stop motion puppet used to portray Sigourney Weaver’s evil alter Hell hound ego in “Ghostbusters” is for sale. That live auction begins at $12K.

Visit the Original Linda Blair tongue and teeth molds from The Exorcist auction.

Visit the Hellraiser Pinhead bust and rare movie prop puzzle box.

Visit the Harvey Stephens Damien tricycle from The Omen auction.

Visit the Terror dog stop motion puppet from Ghostbusters auction.

Suspicious tines

December 5th, 2008

It’s been a good while since anyone reported an Elvis sighting at Stuckey’s or Macchu Piccu, but his DNA — or crumbs once touched by his DNA — are available on a piece of flatware that is for sale on eBay. According to the story, when Elvis played a sold-out show in Johnson City, Tennessee in 1976, he rented the entire floor of a nearby hotel, where fans dutifully swarmed the parking lot and tried to peek into his covered windows.

When plates and silverware were left outside of the King’s room, it was “MAHAM!” [sic], but at least one employee procured a single dirty fork, took it home, and gave it to his sister-in-law, who was bonkers for Elvis. The fork in question has been wrapped in plastic ever since because “there are still particles of food on it that has dryed on it.”

Sellers are asking for one million dollars or the best offer they can get.

Visit the “An actual fork Elvis Presley ate off of” auction.

Now it’s time to say goodbye to a whole wasp family…

November 10th, 2008

A Pennsylvania family massacred the residents of a wasps’ nest, ostensibly because the home bore an uncanny resemblance to Mickey Mouse’s head. The couple “carefully preserved it for someone who loves Mickey,” and put it up for sale, asking $40,000 or your best offer. It would be great for your collection, assuming you have a collection of hives that appear to look like cartoon characters.

Perhaps the group of flying stingers were, in fact, trying to appeal to Disney to create a wasp-centered counterbalance to Dreamworks’ “Bee Movie.” We’ll never know.

Visit the Disney Mickey Mouse formed by genuines wasps 4nest auction.

Make it out of hickory barky, barky, children of the Lord

October 31st, 2008

Apparently, someone’s best-laid plans to construct an ark-shaped hotel the size of a football field in Utah were lost in a flood of tears. The indoor, computer-generated rainstorms and rainbows, the “Olive Branch” and “Rainbow Room” restaurants, the “Mt. Ararat” ballroom, and even the “Patriarchal suites” are all part and parcel of a corporation that “selleca” hopes to resurrect.  For a mere $900,000, the seller suggests that some affluent soul, like “Mel Gibson, Mr. Trump, movie stars, law firms, etc” can buy all of the copyrights to this “PLANNED” resort and open the business anywhere – perhaps even at sea.

Visit the Resort Hotel, Noah’s Ark, Intellectual Rights auction.

Putting Zs on ice

October 28th, 2008

There’s no actual item for sale in this auction – no zippers, zebras, zucchini, zombies or zeppelins, not even a zephyr. This person just wants to sell “the English (Anglo-Saxon) letter Z to be copywrited and yours.” Presumably, you would receive some kind of paperwork if you bid the $1,789,999 minimum freight, or maybe Zephyrus would visit your house and give you the West wind too… who knows?

I, for one, feel pretty attached to the letter Z, and use it often. Maybe I’ve read The Wonderful O by James Thurber one time too many, but I don’t like the sound of this one bit.

Visit the English Letter Z for sale auction.