Artist Russ Esse decided to throw cost considerations out the window, employing sterling silver and Swarovski crystal in the making of a tiny pottery coffin, replete with a basket of clay sunflower seeds for “that special departed Hamster or mouse that has given you joy” to “feed your pet on his journey to the afterworld.”

Apparently, seller ebanners feels that much of its marketability comes from its documented history as the butt-end of a Jay Leno joke, and offers written proof that it was part of a comedy bit. Even though the hamster coffin has previously toured the weird eBay sites, I think that this item is quirky enough to warrant interest all on its own.

The coffin comes at a buy it now price of $17,950, but be warned – it “will not fit large rats guinea pigs or broken Zhu Zhu hamsters.”

Visit the hamster coffin auction.

No worries! Just channel your inner international hobo by making a toupée or fake eyelashes or anything else you can make with human locks from seller trykp’s “Adventure Hair” auction.

A young man who started his world travels with a Mon Chi Chi haircut of less than one inch, he offers “12+ Months of rich brown hair,” freshly cut. He offers a history of his hair’s world travels, from the Mediterranean in Europe and Africa (including a dip in the Dead Sea), down to the Outback and up through Eastern Asia. There are even small details about his coiffure in his description: “During my stay in the mediteranean [sic] sun, My hair lightened due to the lemon blonde gel i used at the time.” He promises to share more details of his trip with his buyer.

Along with the caveat that he’ll use the sale of the hair to help him pay for college, trykp makes his case for its value:

“I have ventured the globe, swam in raging waters, climbed 90 degree mountains, skied down avalanche potential slopes. I have done wheelies on motorcycles, fought wildlife, cheated death in a near fatal car and motorcycle accident. During this long rough and exciting year, the only souvenir i have is my Hair.”

Visit the adventure hair auction.

Actually, “ylyly”(better known on YouTube as parody artist and poet Dave Morice), doesn’t really explain why he felt the need to “tampoon” one of the Louvre’s best-known treasures, but he does chronicle the process of creating his homage and the variety of responses he’s received about her, including words of shame from a Midwestern librarian and support and encouragement from Tampax corporate:

Morice is selling Tampon Mona Lisa for a minimum bid of $2,600, along with a collection of comments that he’s received about her during earlier attempts to sell her on eBay.

Visit the tampon Mona Lisa auction

The nature of its mystical powers are unclear, but eBay seller drew33 wants at least $10,000 for “one of the finest examples of peanut striping in the nation, possibly the world,” discovered at a burger joint in Saratoga, New York. But you must be willing to pick it up somewhere along the Hudson River, between Saratoga and New York City.

Pictures reveal that it is, in fact, a marvelously striped peanut, with a value-added image of the peanut in a “psychedelic environment,” because any serious bidder would want to “see the actual peanut in a unique environment.”

Of course, no peanut is perfect, and the seller calls your attention to that fact, noting that, “like the Liberty Bell, the striped nut is actually cracked down one side.”

So, is the seller hallucinating, is this some kind of oddball marketing stunt for the burger joint he mentions, or what?

Visit the mystical peanut auction.

“My style is a combo of Dr. Seuss, Woody Guthrie, and Charles Bukowski with a dash of Sylvia Plath and a twist of Bill Knott (at least that is what Al N. Ginsberg told me once),” he says.

In case you buy his claim, you can bid on one of his poems and he will send it to you in the mail. In more flush times, some might pay $5 for that description alone, but so far with 8 bids and a handful of hours left to go, the standing price is 55 cents.

Visit the poem auction.

If you haven’t heard of or seen a “reborn” – they are handmade infant dolls that look stunningly lifelike. In the BBC special, a few women talk about why they purchase the dolls, which some like to take on regular walks in carriages. They model motherhood, often drawing the kind attention of strangers who don’t realize that the doll isn’t an actual human baby. Another grandmother, whose grandchild had moved a continent away, had one made in his exact image as a baby because she missed him.

That said, here’s “Charlie”:

Charlie was made by someone who ordinarily sells reborns and didn’t set out to put a baby head in a jar.

“It just kinda happened one day” says eBay seller lizlovenursery, who made this listing read a bit like a horror movie. A preservative that included bleach was used in the jar, and did cause Charlie’s hair to dissolve.

A prospective buyer asked the question: “Hi does Charley tell the future? eg lottery results etc? and why when i try to log off does he scream “DONT LEAVE ME DADDY”????????????? thanks!”

(The answer was: “I don’t know.”)

Apparently, if the auction reaches $150, a used electric guitar will be thrown into the deal.

Maybe you have questions too. Visit the Charlie auction.

Visit the lucky marble auction.

I, for one, feel pretty attached to the letter Z, and use it often. Maybe I’ve read The Wonderful O by James Thurber one time too many, but I don’t like the sound of this one bit.

Visit the English Letter Z for sale auction.

The listing describes it as “the tackiest Tijuana Black Velvet of them all, an original hand-painted black velvet painting of Satan, The Father of Lies, using the facilities, aka ‘The Devil on the Can On Black Velvet.’” It also takes care to make sure no one mixes up this black velvet painting artist with those who sold black velvet portraits of various Republican politicians at the 1996 Republican National Convention.

Visit the Velvet Devil on the Toilet Auction.

First, there is the love potato – a heart-shaped potato that the seller claims can be the “key to renewing love in your life.” He lets the picture do all of the work, without providing any information about where the enigmatic potato was grown or instructions about how to tap into its alleged love power. (Eat it au gratin? Wear it around your neck? Throw it at the person you desire?) Still, he asks $99.99.

Meanwhile, a gardener from “beautiful Northern Illinois” combines an elaborate sales pitch with a questionable mix of upper- and lower-case letters to convince people to buy “TWisTeD LoVers CarRots.”  The sight of two carrots, which grew twisted in a “tender embrace,” apparently provided the seller with a host of improbable fantasies.  Perhaps someone out there wants to propose marriage with this carrot, by slipping a ring on it and serving it to them at dinner? Maybe you’ve just been dying to impress your friend who has an ostentatious love of carrots with this culinary “show stopper.”

Visit the Twisted Lovers carrots auction.

Visit the Love Potato auction.