Auction Chronicles » miraculous food

Mystical peanut or burger joint ad?

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:39:21 +0000

If you routinely pack a lunch for a kid at school, you already know that the peanut is a formidable and mighty foe, feared by many (and with good reason). But striped peanut that is “mystical”? That’s news to me.

The nature of its mystical powers are unclear, but eBay seller drew33 wants at least $10,000 for “one of the finest examples of peanut striping in the nation, possibly the world,” discovered at a burger joint in Saratoga, New York. But you must be willing to pick it up somewhere along the Hudson River, between Saratoga and New York City.

Pictures reveal that it is, in fact, a marvelously striped peanut, with a value-added image of the peanut in a “psychedelic environment,” because any serious bidder would want to “see the actual peanut in a unique environment.”

Of course, no peanut is perfect, and the seller calls your attention to that fact, noting that, “like the Liberty Bell, the striped nut is actually cracked down one side.”

So, is the seller hallucinating, is this some kind of oddball marketing stunt for the burger joint he mentions, or what?

Visit the mystical peanut auction.

It don’t matter if you’re French or Rye: MJ Toast

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:06:37 +0000

I guess this was inevitable. In the culture of eBay, few things feel our grief, our longing or our faithful yearnings the way that our toasters do.

Welcome to the newest rash of oddball Michael Jackson-related auctions: portraits of the King of Pop on burned bread.

Pictured here is, obviously, a toast-ly apparition of the “Thriller” cover.

This MJ on toast must be intentional.

He’s moonwalking on this one. It’s rough, but yes, I can see it.

I can’t figure this one out at all.

Chances are good that there are more of these listings being created daily.

If you’re looking for MJ-related auctions, Ebay has created its own Michael Jackson tribute page.
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Now playing: Michael Jackson – Black or White
via FoxyTunes

Food-shaped celebrities and other unexciting objects

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:21:19 +0000

Divine and celebrity-shaped food is an eBay cliché at this point.

Know what this photo is? Can you tell?

Clearly, it’s a “SPICER HOT KIND OF A GOLDEN FLAKE POTATO CHIP THAT HAS NEVER BEEN BITTEN INTO, THAT LOOKS LIKE THE KING OF ROCK AND ROLL.” And it can be yours for a minimum bid of $50,000.

If Elvis doesn’t do it for you, how about a plain old heart-shaped potato for $1,000 or more? Or a smiling pinto bean seed starting at $500?

P.S. There’s also the Virgin Mary on a stone for $15,000 (Australian).