Archive for the ‘Stories make you easy’ category

Need insomnia? Try my haunted pilowcase

October 13th, 2008

After several nights of lousy sleep and clear suspicion from her cat, chillypenguin737 began to suspect that her pillowcase must be haunted. After a few clinical trials, which included leaving the pillowcase in the closet, testing it on her husband and continually gauging her cat’s reaction, she determined that she was correct, and that the pillowcase must indeed be possessed.

Although there is no guarantee that the powder blue nuisance will retain the aforementioned haunting when it meets its new master, chillypenguin reassures the lucky bidder: “at least you’ll know that the pillowcase has a history.”

Visit the haunted pillowcase auction.

Crocs are trying to kill my family!

August 27th, 2008

She bumped her shins on the steps, her kids kept falling face-first and a friend’s daughter fell and knocked out a front tooth. Then she broke her ankle in a door. Because no one in her family is even ” a pound over-weight,” she feels the culprit is clear: It’s the Crocs. The Crocs are to blame for every injury she and her family have endured in recent times. Some people just think they’re ugly… this woman finds them malevolent.

Therefore, she would like someone to buy her (size 7) pair to help pay off her medical bills, and then promptly burn them. With a day and half to go, the spongy footware is fetching $113.08.

Visit the Death to CROCS! auction. UPDATE: Looks like you can’t get there anymore – the auction has disappeared without a trace.  I’m guessing this is because Ebay doesn’t want to be sued by the makers of Crocs.

I want my highlighter to see the world!

August 27th, 2008

Somehow, with the simple declaration that this yellow highlighter has marked up a lot of “important documents and books,” and a positive review for its good, clean highlighting, four people have decided to bid on something they can buy new for under a buck (even less in bulk). With well over a day left in the auction, the used highlighter has been bid up to $2.54.

I have an overdeveloped sense of affection for office supplies myself. Think I could get better than retail for my half-used notebooks?

Visit the Major Accent Highlighter auction.