Artist Russ Esse decided to throw cost considerations out the window, employing sterling silver and Swarovski crystal in the making of a tiny pottery coffin, replete with a basket of clay sunflower seeds for “that special departed Hamster or mouse that has given you joy” to “feed your pet on his journey to the afterworld.”

Apparently, seller ebanners feels that much of its marketability comes from its documented history as the butt-end of a Jay Leno joke, and offers written proof that it was part of a comedy bit. Even though the hamster coffin has previously toured the weird eBay sites, I think that this item is quirky enough to warrant interest all on its own.

The coffin comes at a buy it now price of $17,950, but be warned – it “will not fit large rats guinea pigs or broken Zhu Zhu hamsters.”

Visit the hamster coffin auction.

According to eBay seller honestybusybee “this wonderful piece of art was created by the greatest Artist of them all: ‘GOD’!!!” With circum…spection, this seems unusual, especially given the surgical cut of the stone. But who are we to question the forces that created this stubby, metamorphic lingam?

After ostensibly finding this earth-formed creation somewhere out on the long and dusty trail, then keeping it around the house for four years of “great conversations and many laughs,” the seller has finally decided that she is wiling to part with it. And it’s starting bid begins at a mere quarter of a million dollars.

Visit the “look rare art million dollar penis rock unique hot” auction.

If you’ve spent so many nights snuggling your 1960s-era G.I. Joe figurine that his flocked, fuzzy hair  is now worn down with bald patches, there’s a solution available! According to AstroJoe11, his “Rug Ratz Flocking Service” can rejuvenate your doll’s scalp better than the Hair Club for Men for under $10.

“ANY GI JOE OR ACTION FIGURE HEAD CAN NOW BE PROFESSIONALLY REFLOCKED FOR A FRACTION OF THE COST FROM THE OTHER GUYS!!” reads the enthusiastic listing. ” YEP, WE HAVE DEVELOPED A VERY HIGH GRADE, INEXPENSIVE WAY TO TURN YOUR BURN OUT JOE HEAD INTO THAT FRESH, OFF THE SHELF LOOK!!”

Visit the G.I. Joe head reflocking listing.

The nature of its mystical powers are unclear, but eBay seller drew33 wants at least $10,000 for “one of the finest examples of peanut striping in the nation, possibly the world,” discovered at a burger joint in Saratoga, New York. But you must be willing to pick it up somewhere along the Hudson River, between Saratoga and New York City.

Pictures reveal that it is, in fact, a marvelously striped peanut, with a value-added image of the peanut in a “psychedelic environment,” because any serious bidder would want to “see the actual peanut in a unique environment.”

Of course, no peanut is perfect, and the seller calls your attention to that fact, noting that, “like the Liberty Bell, the striped nut is actually cracked down one side.”

So, is the seller hallucinating, is this some kind of oddball marketing stunt for the burger joint he mentions, or what?

Visit the mystical peanut auction.

“My style is a combo of Dr. Seuss, Woody Guthrie, and Charles Bukowski with a dash of Sylvia Plath and a twist of Bill Knott (at least that is what Al N. Ginsberg told me once),” he says.

In case you buy his claim, you can bid on one of his poems and he will send it to you in the mail. In more flush times, some might pay $5 for that description alone, but so far with 8 bids and a handful of hours left to go, the standing price is 55 cents.

Visit the poem auction.

So, seller walt**maxi’s mom put a plastic cup in the washer and dryer in the 1970s, and it so resembled a tushie that they’ve kept it in the china cabinet for over 30 years. At long last, the day has come for the family to say its goodbyes to the “sexy butt cup,” for a minimum bid of $495.

Perhaps because dogs are known to enjoy a good derriere, 10 percent of the auction proceeds will go to the Humane Society of Louisiana.

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Now playing: Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back
via FoxyTunes

The minimum bid is $10,000.

Visit the haunted fish auction.

*I do and it doesn’t.

Here’s one example of paranoia and/or questionable humor on eBay:

A sea shipping container has been repackaged as a “shipping container bomb shelter rubber room” which, touts the tag line “can also be used for a gun case safe to shoot out of!” It’s unclear whether seller “verycleanwater1691″ is a survivalist, or gently mocking survivalists. He/she claims that  the $2,100, 1,100-pound container “is not for use to detain humans” with the caveat “WE WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE IF YOU PUT YOUR WIFE IN HERE!” Meanwhile, if you were worried that, say, your county comptroller or school board member goes on wild gun and emergency supply-looting sprees on the weekends, there are ostensibly “enough heavy duty latches on these babies to keep the most determined ‘democrat-liberal type’ from stealing anything!”

One questioner put it this way:

Q: You probably should give that back to who you took it from. Jan-01-09
A: I did not find it inside the mansion. i found it on the pathway with the pebbles.

The title and description of the auction make a completely different claim.
Sounds like this family chops down lots of cherry trees.

Visit the Stone Rose found in George Washington’s mansion auction.

If you haven’t heard of or seen a “reborn” – they are handmade infant dolls that look stunningly lifelike. In the BBC special, a few women talk about why they purchase the dolls, which some like to take on regular walks in carriages. They model motherhood, often drawing the kind attention of strangers who don’t realize that the doll isn’t an actual human baby. Another grandmother, whose grandchild had moved a continent away, had one made in his exact image as a baby because she missed him.

That said, here’s “Charlie”:

Charlie was made by someone who ordinarily sells reborns and didn’t set out to put a baby head in a jar.

“It just kinda happened one day” says eBay seller lizlovenursery, who made this listing read a bit like a horror movie. A preservative that included bleach was used in the jar, and did cause Charlie’s hair to dissolve.

A prospective buyer asked the question: “Hi does Charley tell the future? eg lottery results etc? and why when i try to log off does he scream “DONT LEAVE ME DADDY”????????????? thanks!”

(The answer was: “I don’t know.”)

Apparently, if the auction reaches $150, a used electric guitar will be thrown into the deal.

Maybe you have questions too. Visit the Charlie auction.