If you routinely pack a lunch for a kid at school, you already know that the peanut is a formidable and mighty foe, feared by many (and with good reason). But striped peanut that is “mystical”? That’s news to me.
The nature of its mystical powers are unclear, but eBay seller drew33 wants at least $10,000 for “one of the finest examples of peanut striping in the nation, possibly the world,” discovered at a burger joint in Saratoga, New York. But you must be willing to pick it up somewhere along the Hudson River, between Saratoga and New York City.
Pictures reveal that it is, in fact, a marvelously striped peanut, with a value-added image of the peanut in a “psychedelic environment,” because any serious bidder would want to “see the actual peanut in a unique environment.”
Of course, no peanut is perfect, and the seller calls your attention to that fact, noting that, “like the Liberty Bell, the striped nut is actually cracked down one side.”
So, is the seller hallucinating, is this some kind of oddball marketing stunt for the burger joint he mentions, or what?
How do folks capitalize on the death of Michael Jackson on eBay? Let us count the ways.
If you run an underground cloning facility, you may be interested in the DNA strand of auctions that include a piece of MJ’s hair.
Artists that few, or possibly no one has heard of are busy asking for big bucks if they happened to dash off an image of Jackson. After all, you’d like to drop 50 grand on a “surrealist” oil painting of the 1980s-era MJ by someone calling themselves “artist,” wouldn’t you? How about if they throw in another painting called “Light House at Valcour Island in Plattsburgh Adirondack” with it? Or what about a portrait of the many faces of MJ in fabric, by “huge fan/artist Angela Chambers.” She also intends to let it go for a $50K minimum bid. An Israeli artist morphed her face with Jackson’s in a broken nose portrait that she’s asking $12,000 for.
On the other hand, while I’m not sure who Vinzent Massi is, this 3-foot tall Michael Jackson marionette looks kind of cool.
Since any jackoff can buy a domain name for pocket change and resell it to the highest bidder, just about every jackoff that knows this has purchased a Michael Jackson-related name and put it on eBay. For a minimum $2 million bid one Californian would like to sell you the macabre domain name michaeljacksondied.com. While a slightly more imaginative seller from Bowling Green, Ohio has every variation on michaeljacksonwalksthemoon.com. And that barely scratches the surface when it comes to potential web site addresses, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of others.Despite the fact that the seller is admittedly unsure that his car is the real deal, several people are bidding on a 1971 Cadillac Fleetwood that ostensibly belonged to the Jackson family when the boys were kids.
If you’re lonely for Michael Jackson and wish you could have a two-dimensional reminder of him around your house like a perpetual party guest, you can bid $750,000 on a life-sized cardboard standup of him from the “Bad” era.
While I’m not walking around with a spare $300,000 these days, I am a bit partial to this candid photo, given as a gift to a fan by one of MJ’s tour bus drivers. If you ever want to find out if a musician is a decent person or a spoiled tyrant, there’s a good chance that their tour bus driver has a strong idea.
There’s also a cute story in an auction for a photo MJ signed for Frank Gorshin, The Riddler on the Batman TV series, and longtime Vegas showman. Apparently he helped school Jackson and his family in many Vegas stage tricks in the early 1970s, and MJ called him a few times to say thanks. More details are promised to the winning bidder.
Seller citbit336 is certain that she has written the first lyrics written in memory of Michael Jackson, that’s anyone has put up for sale on eBay, anyway. All she will share is the title — “Farewell King,” but she’s willing to reveal the rest to you for a minimum $50K bid. If you can’t go for that, she’s got lots of Mary Kay products you might like.
There are a smattering of things that the gloved one actually wore. Since hats were long one of Jackson’s essential dance props, there are several bearing his official stamp for sale. Seller jackmsell has a signed Michael Jackson fedora, along with additional auctions for an autographed tour program and “other toys.” An undisclosed percentage of the proceeds will apparently go to the American Heart Association. A more audacious seller is asking $500,000 for a “Billie Jean hat” thrown from the stage during the 1984 “Victory” tour. Don’t care for hats? Try this $40K brooch.
Remember when Jackson’s hair caught on fire during the filming of a Pepsi commercial? Commemorate those days with your own rare Hebrew Pepsi can. The starting bid is only $6,000!
Apparently, someone’s best-laid plans to construct an ark-shaped hotel the size of a football field in Utah were lost in a flood of tears. The indoor, computer-generated rainstorms and rainbows, the “Olive Branch” and “Rainbow Room” restaurants, the “Mt. Ararat” ballroom, and even the “Patriarchal suites” are all part and parcel of a corporation that “selleca” hopes to resurrect. For a mere $900,000, the seller suggests that some affluent soul, like “Mel Gibson, Mr. Trump, movie stars, law firms, etc” can buy all of the copyrights to this “PLANNED” resort and open the business anywhere – perhaps even at sea.
