Harvest season has gotten a couple of eBay sellers worked up over root vegetables with suggestive qualities.

First, there is the love potato – a heart-shaped potato that the seller claims can be the “key to renewing love in your life.” He lets the picture do all of the work, without providing any information about where the enigmatic potato was grown or instructions about how to tap into its alleged love power. (Eat it au gratin? Wear it around your neck? Throw it at the person you desire?) Still, he asks $99.99.

Meanwhile, a gardener from “beautiful Northern Illinois” combines an elaborate sales pitch with a questionable mix of upper- and lower-case letters to convince people to buy “TWisTeD LoVers CarRots.”  The sight of two carrots, which grew twisted in a “tender embrace,” apparently provided the seller with a host of improbable fantasies.  Perhaps someone out there wants to propose marriage with this carrot, by slipping a ring on it and serving it to them at dinner? Maybe you’ve just been dying to impress your friend who has an ostentatious love of carrots with this culinary “show stopper.”

Visit the Twisted Lovers carrots auction.

Visit the Love Potato auction.